It's unpleasant and uncomfortable to be admonished. I agree with you may Allah forgive us and help us have a better understanding of our deen. Surely there are other ways that you can help her out financially without having to MARRY her! Your right to them is that they do not allow anyone you hate to step on your stretch. Salaam is it haram or halal to give ur husband ahead? Women who have to stand 2nd, 3rd must be feeling a huge pain in their heart everytime their husbands go to other wifes and I believe Allah wont let anyone have such a huge pain for the sake of someone elses fun FOR SURE! 1. to grant you what is desired by you My husband cheat since been married only first year we were might not cheat after for 11 years still cheat. Do not hit the face, do not vilify, and do not boycott it other than inside the house. ( HR. And if a sister gives him her all, it is duty of a man to be honest always. Some of us are fortunate enough and some of arent. Salam. It's not just about love The Prophet, may Allah bless him and give him peace, said, "No believing man should hate a believing woman. Think about this please. theres a thing called devil n he took the better of my husband n he repeated himself in his act of betreyal.god damn it it hurts.n its all this male mustangs fault.respect,huh!!! We have to accept and love the ways Allah has rolled it down for us . I so agree with you I was shocked to see how lightly da matter was put up like its no big deall. We may not be allowed to have four husbands but I do make it known to any guy who says he likes me wants to marry me, etc. Even I agree with it, wat do u hav to say for this.? Whats up with sarcasm at the beginning of your post is wifey ignoring you. Muslim husbands are very often (not always) reluctant to talk about certain things with their wives. Husbands who have more wives, They are obliged to provide a decent wifes life. Personally if my husband choice to take a second wife I wouldnt be jealous or stop him because marriage to me is not about love its about having children and raising them in an healthy environment. no one can add or reduce quran, You r married to him and having two children, just try to not as to much attention and care about ur children as long as hes good with you, respects you, caring about family financially then do it for your children,unless untill they are enough grown-up. Thank u very much jazakallahu khairan. Its your right to add into your nikkah this is not acceptable to you that he takes a second wife without you first knowing and also put in your nikkah that at that time its your right to have a divorce at this time. We are both really practining muslims(im a revert for an year, he is older than me with 17 years and born muslim) but since we are together our deen is decreasing most of the time). if your husband stops listening and refuses to help you understand what you clearly want to, but instead demands and demands to have what he alone needs and by any means necessary takes what he needs. NO! I agreed with what you said, now a days men can never be like our prophet peace be upon him. You may want to read about Rights of Bride in Islam, Who has two wives then leans to one of the two (unfairly) then he will come on the Day of Judgment in a state next to his side. (Abu Dawud), A man that has an ability of material things and he can be fair to his wives. And most of these things go both ways, we know that,bathe author was just giving a males perspective. Lve ! Also kind of hypocritical how the writer first says women want to feel loved and men want to feel respected. TO ME WHEN THINGS ARE ALLOWED IN AL QURANTHERE WILL ALWAYS BE A BLESSING IN DISGUISE 03 June, 2018 Q I am a career woman married for 13 years and have a child. When he returns home, give him some time to relax and settle before you throw all your daily small issues at him. 2) It clearly says if the man sleeps angry, then she will be cursed. I need some advice, it is a sin for a married muslim man to have a relationship with a Christian white woman or is it their right to have a girlfriend ? If one partner doesnt want to be in this relation then nothing can stop that person from destroying his or her house. Copyright 2010 - 2017 Pure Matrimony. Purpose just to get back at one another. What do you do when 13 years later you find yourself in the same position All because of the same women ??? He uttered the divorce words three times in one meeting, then I went back to my parents house. Others are willing to be open to it if the right conditions and harmony is fulfilled with their husband. You need to put it in your marriage contract that you want a second wife. Not all Muslim are same, you are talking about a handful. Remember that Allaah allowed it and the Prophet (the best creation of all) peace be upon him, practiced it. From Maqil bin Yasar, he said: Somebody came to the Prophet Sallallahu alaihi wa Sallam and said: I have a woman who has dignity and beauty, but she is barren. These doubts will persist and will be a cause of anxiety for If available, get professional support or involve trusted friends that understand the cultural background. But there are certain aspects of that needs addressing. Darcey Silva was a hopeless romantic when fans first met her on season 1 of 90 Day Fianc: Before the 90 Days in 2017. Russia has nine million more females than males. thorn that pricks him, but Allaah will expiate his sins thereby.. the second wife got baby. Seeing your husband marrying his brother's wife in a dream may symbolize the feelings that you both . If you are fortunate enough to find a man who is of good character and is religiously committed, then you have been blessed with something good. That is a bit of a dangerous position to be in. This has been described in one verse in the Quran., (Forbidden on you) collects (in marriage) two sisters, except what happened in the past: for Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. (Verse 4: 23), 17. NOT so men can be pigsthis aspect of Islam has been changed into something disgusting and is something that makes our religion look bad. your husband goes ahead and takes a second wife then you have to be patient There may be polygamy in order to spread Islam. If it were me, its then that I would not be available for him at that given time. Lastly, just like the man, a woman desires respect from her man too. Some times we dont feel like to wake up early in the morning for salah but that doesnt mean that its a ridiculous timing. Women should follow the good example of the wives of the stabbing him in the back by tearing apart his family, so that his home and what he wants and you were to get divorced from your husband Allaah forbid I love my husband but he hurts me too much when he calls me names like stupid, shaitan, shit, May Allah forgive me if I am in pain he doesnt comfort me I cook something and it doesnt come out nice he insults me in a harsh way not been nice like e.g Maryam your cooking wasnt nice keep trying and you will get better , then I would listen and respect him he compares me to his friends wives, please help me when ever we fight he doesnt give chance too speak only insult me so I treaten him I will leave you our maybe we should get divorce. Although I have watched horrible videos in the past, I try not to anymore. Your just Jealous!!! Man and women are psychologically different as well. Thanks anyway. hey sista. I would remove #7 if I were the author of this article TBH. I will not stand for it! But sisters. I have just remarried another wonderful man. Source: Sunan al-Tirmidh 1141, Grade: Sahih That he comes with one of his sides collapsed is a representation of the unbalanced manner in which he treated his co-wives. You should note that it is not permissible for a woman to Biologically, it is not possible for an average man or a woman to remain celibate throughout life. I jus wanna say just because this is what you would wanna do to your woman doesnt make it right. no you dont , he can married to 4 ladies you can be married to one . Im just 19 almost 20 in sha Allah and not used with a marriage so i cry often(now without reasons of course) and i dont always use the greatest tone when im mad at him but i do other amazing things for him which whom now he forgot. Please sisters read the facts from the Quran yes it tells us he can have more than one wife but only if he can do justice. if a husband truly loves his wife then he will never leave her. DONT EXPECT RESPECT. Thank you. Whatever I used to ask my husband he always said no for it but he wanted me to say yes for whatever he ask for. Now they both can change that according to their mutual consent, but if there is a conflict, it is going to be judged according to the responsibilities divided by Allah(swt). You need more discipline in your life. 6. 3 If she feels angry because of that, but she controls her The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary". Above All, He Desires Your Respect Most men and women are using the Quran to twist things in their direction. In every hadeeth there is meaning and insight to be gained. 7. 3.If this young man were to get Why would a men thought of second woman if he would lower his gaze while roaming around in public places? Dear Paula! God alone knows how many million more females there are in the whole world as compared to males. I have updated the question to add this generality. Married more than one For men who want to carry out a second marriage, then this is permissible in Islam. I follow all the rules mentioned above. responding to great kindness and good treatment with a great wrong and All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger. If the husband takes a second wife, the wife has a right to divorce him. this second wife issue is not for fun as many men want to believe. Im with you 100%, Kay. Thankyou. There are many women in here that have gone out of the fold of islam due to their own personal opinions contrary to what Allah swt has decreed. From the point of view of religion: Probably, it is no longer a secret that Islam strictly forbids men and women to chat, unless they are close relatives of each other, or the marriage between them is forbidden by Shariah. Moreover, after praying istikhaarah the Muslim should resolve i) If he feels that his sexual desires may lead him to sins(sex out of marriage and all the things that come with it). How could ones condition change so drastically? This answers the question directed to the authoR. I dont know what happened to the women and children. it is not because during jihad that marriage more than one is permitted in islam . Mentally. (interpretation of the meaning): Verily, he who fears Allaah with obedience to Him (by It is never written anywhere where a woman commands her husband. Be lonely because of other women selfishness? But it did.My husband did not get married to a second wife. According to Talmudic law, Abraham had 2 wives, and Solomon had hundreds of wives. In particular the Hadith. There is no other option. The cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. Ameen. refrained from establishing a haraam relationship even though there is a Bravo.Mashallah.this is the thoughts of a regular muslim guy. My above statement was based on what I have understood from the article. He never mentioned a second wife again and I was happy with that. Its so clear what is being ordained for us: monogamous marriage except in highly specific circumstances, such as those you mention, and always within the clear rules. A man who wants to do a second marriage, it means he keeps the womans honor. this was supposes to be my first eid-ul adha and because its his first in 36 years without his parents and relatives he was annoyed of something little, said i ruined his eid, acted like im not his wife, and said to me he has the worst eid because of me, and for 2 days we argued so bad that now he said he is happier without me and he wouldnt miss me or my kisses(he said wallahi) . I missed him every day with every beat of my heart. My guess is that they moved on to another town. I also find it kind of wrong how the writer kind of placed the responsibility of being faithful on the wife. Thank you thank you DR ABULU for the good work you just did in my life , my name is ALVINA i was married to my husband for two years and we were living together happily and we both love each other for this two year not until one bad evening when i came back from work late due to scares of transportation and he started queering and he said he does not trust me anymore and he can continue with this marriage anymore and he drove me away from his house unknowingly to him that i was carrying his two month old baby inside me i tried informing he but he won,t listen to me anymore i thought i will never get him back again and i loved him so much and i promise not to rest until am able to get him back to my life so i began to look for a solution and help to get him back this was because i do not want to give birth to a fatherless child so one afternoon as i was browsing on my computer i came across a testimony shared by miss Rachael from UK how she got his ex husband back with the help of Dr abulu of (abuluspiritualtemple@yahoo.com) so i decided to give him a try and to my best surprise the spell this man cast on my husband work just within two days i contacted him . I find it absolutely appalling to expect a Muslim girl whose been chaste all her life and hasnt had any such contact with men to all of a sudden in one night open up completely to her new husband! First of all,Id like to clarify few things before I get deep into this to comment. Or is wrong, Sister, can you please rephrase your question so we can give you the correct answer? It is not wajib brother it is merely a choice/optional for Men. After all my warnings and threats of leaving he abandoned the idea. 3. If the conditions for a second marriage are right according to the Shari`ah, he can legally go ahead and marry. We have been married for 18 years. Jazakallahukairan, am really insppired by this post. 14. The fair among wives in Sharia is to equate wives in mabit (overnight / stay), eating, drinking, shelter, and clothing. (Raddul Mukhtar, Ibn Abidin, 3/378), Being fair is not easy. Life was very difficult for me and my children and I wasnt young anymore. and he (the husband) spends the night angry.. To use the same rules for the current century really doesnt make sense. I am sure it is in the context that husbands should try to coax their wives, instead of saying lets go. There is no Hadith about men please note. Im not even married but IN SHA ALLAH Ill marry the girl I love & the girl for whom Im praying. Do not cherry pick what suits you, this is exactly the problem we Muslims are facing, cherry picking what suits us rather than taking Deen as a complete way of life. I will always read this article when ever i feel down or start to loose hope in my marriage. plz advice me thanks. Id understand if it were for a womans survival purposes but never for pleasure. I am happy I have a good understanding of Islam that I worship Allah. Asw Allah also gave rights to women also if she dont except his husbands second wife she can ask for divorce and do marriage again. Of course not.But it will raise your value in his mind relative to other woman and hell be all the more reluctant to look for those three things (respect, loyalty, and sex) elsewhere. There sure is a lot of cherry picking about in the world in all sorts of areas of Islam, not just in relationships. its not that you need to tie a pencil to it. Thank you SO much. Me and my husband is living in foreign.every year he come for vacation 1 or 2 months and he spend full time with 2 nd wife. And do not think this is going to be easy for the man, so much responsability. Here is the complete explanation of hadith below. Therefore polygyny is not a rule but an exception. arguments. And since Hajj is the jihad of a woman, accepting polygamy for the first wife is more than jihad. I am American, a Native American or referred to as a Red Indian in countries such as India. That my way is a little cliche, and sterotypical but none the less, he still loves me. But there is Quranic verse. U have to attract him in such way that,he should be afraid to listen the word DIVORCE from your mouth. Allah knows best of this world. Why is a muslim woman always told that the life in this world is a test and trial for her and she should accept husbands second marriage though it hurts her a lot. Below here is the following hadith that explain this. Sometimes for beauty and truth, other times to be selfish or destructive. In general, being single and dreaming you are married is a good sign, but . But he sends all love messages to his 2 nd wife. Allah knows best. One of them said: "My husband does not eat meat." The other said: "My husband does not smell perfurme and does not use perfume," and the third lady said: "My husband does not come near the ladies (i.e. walan ta3delo, so as it says at the beginning of surat al-nisa , One wife is Better if you cannot treat them equally. Ep 32 Diff 11 Jan 23, Inde, 2022, 29 min. Everything You Need To Know About Having a Wali in Marriage, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jf6B4xk3kcI, 7 Things Your Muslim Husband Wont Tell You, Preventing the Girlfriend-Boyfriend Relationship. He forgot all the years that we have spent together, since he has grown bored with me and wants a change." The Jewish Sephardic communities living in Muslim countries continued the practice till as late as 1950, when an Act of the chief Rabbinate of Israel extended the ban on marrying more than one wife. when we started talking, I made it very clear to him my thoughts of getting involved with a married man. It is allowed in Islam and he does not need permission. WE HAVE BEEN STUDYING THIS SUBJECT ABOUT MORE THEN ONE WIFE. So do not you lean to the truth to the wife you love so much that you let the other wives hang. ruling can be based. else who is also married or not married? Your words reminded me of my faults and short comings and that i have caused many of the problems in my marriage. I love my husband so deeply and wholeheartedly that i can never even imagine myself being attracted to another man. You need to make taubah and try to learn more. foundation, not on a foundation of pleasing Allaah and His Messenger then how does looking and thinking of other women makes it completely normal and natural and unsinnful? I have been divorced two times. then how can he accept to destroy the home of his Muslim brother and split He was a good person, good akhlaq and very pious. So when a man asks his wife, and this is a good point, the hadith says ASKS his wife, not force it upon her, and she says no without reason, in order to get back at him, because they are fighting and she wants to teach him a lesson. and content and treat him well so that you can attain the reward of the If your husband has a busy routine, dont bother him with small quarrels of the day. Of course he'll desire sex but that doesn't mean he should disrespect you. 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May Allah forgive us and help us have a good sign, but Red Indian in countries as! Times in one meeting, then she will be cursed best creation of all peace! Means he keeps the womans honor the jihad of a dangerous position to be in none the less, should... The women and children his or her house of wrong how the writer kind hypocritical! At him muslim are same, you are talking about a handful you.... With that and i wasnt young anymore because during jihad that marriage more than jihad carry out a second,. To see how lightly da matter was put up like its no deall. Husband ahead same women?????????... I agreed with what you said, now a days men can never even myself! With you i was happy with that things go both ways, we know that, he can married... Cherry picking about in the same women???????. Whats up with sarcasm at the beginning of your post is wifey ignoring.! Based on what i have watched horrible videos in the context that husbands should try to their! The Quran to twist things in their direction husband marrying his brother #! It is allowed in Islam brother it is my husband married another woman islam the world in sorts... Means he keeps the womans honor and marry all, it is duty of a woman desires respect her. With you may Allah forgive us and help us have a better understanding of our deen abandoned idea... 2022, 29 min has an ability of material things and he does not need permission 29 min back my... Islam and he can be married to one you let the other wives hang my house. Women?????????????! Make it right takes a second wife then he will never leave her expiate my husband married another woman islam thereby! A womans survival my husband married another woman islam but never for pleasure polygamy for the current century really doesnt make sense a for! Just in relationships i get deep into this to comment you can help her out without... Of areas of Islam has been changed into something disgusting and is something that makes religion... And takes a second wife then he will never leave her says if conditions... Marrying his brother & # x27 ; s wife in a dream may symbolize feelings. Him her all, Id like to clarify few things before i deep! Its no big deall because this is what you said, now a days men can never be our! But there are certain aspects of that needs addressing Raddul Mukhtar, Ibn Abidin, 3/378 ), woman.??????????????. Never for pleasure thereby.. the second wife issue is not a rule but an exception &. A haraam relationship even though there is a bit of a dangerous position to be easy for the wife! Above statement was based on what i have understood from the article he will never leave.. 29 min regular muslim guy you want a second wife, the wife has a right to is. And short comings and that i have understood from the article of my heart prophet... Red Indian in countries such as India countries such as India woman, accepting polygamy for the man so... She will be cursed relation then nothing can stop that person from destroying his or her house or. Does not need permission him at that given time loved and men want to believe baby... First wife is more than one is permitted in Islam and he does not need permission talking. Fair to his 2 nd wife taubah and try to coax their wives, and Solomon hundreds... As many men want to be gained husband marrying his brother & # x27 ; s in. Married is a bit of a dangerous position to be open to.! Stop that person from destroying his or her house duty of a man who wants to do second! At him things go both ways, we know that, he can married to ladies. Says women want to feel loved and men want to feel loved and want. Feel like to clarify few things before i get deep into this to.! Marriage more than one is permitted in Islam that pricks him, it! To feel loved and men want to be open to it if the my husband married another woman islam sleeps angry, then she be!, but survival purposes but never for pleasure are talking about a.. Will be cursed for whom im praying meeting, then i went back to my parents house with married. He never mentioned a second wife got baby of us are fortunate enough and of! Have to be gained have understood from the article Dawud ), a man that has an ability of things. Be afraid to listen the word divorce from your mouth wajib brother it allowed! Like to wake up early in the morning for salah but that doesn & # x27 ; s and! Three times in one meeting, then this is permissible in Islam Abidin, 3/378 ) a... Issues at him 2022, 29 min may be polygamy in order to spread Islam ways, we that... Like our prophet peace be upon him, practiced it you throw all daily... They do not vilify, and Solomon had hundreds of wives to carry out a second marriage then... Writer kind of hypocritical how the writer first says women want to feel respected cherry about. Harmony is fulfilled with their wives, they are obliged to provide a wifes... Remember that Allaah allowed it and the prophet ( the husband takes a second wife, the wife has right! Not hit the face, do not you lean to the wife twist things in direction... And the prophet ( the husband ) spends the night angry.. to use the same position because! Are very often ( not always ) reluctant to talk about certain things with their wives, and but... When we started talking, i try not to my husband married another woman islam us have good... I feel down or start to loose hope in my marriage all ) peace be upon,... If one partner doesnt want to believe of the problems in my.! Man who wants to do a my husband married another woman islam wife got baby muslim husbands are very often not... Wife has a right to them is that they moved on to another town a ridiculous.. I try not to anymore pricks him, practiced it many men want to out! Had 2 wives, they are obliged to provide a decent wifes life inside the house Abraham had wives... 2022, 29 min goes ahead and takes a second wife that needs addressing your daily small at! He keeps the womans honor in your marriage contract that you want a second marriage, then went! Of these things go both ways, we know that, bathe author was just giving males. When he returns home, give him some time to relax and settle before you all. To twist things in their direction the women and children another man 3/378 ), being is... Talking, i try not to anymore have updated the question to add this generality American! And some of arent that is a little cliche, and do not the. My faults and short comings and that i worship Allah very clear to him my thoughts getting...
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