Even worse is that the authorities didnt believe you; instead they believed your lying husband. Its hard to pretend in front of our husband that were ok even were not but sometimes we need to be an actress in front of them. Even though I can see that he is trying to repair the damage that he has caused, Im so fearful of finding trust again in our relationship. I have been married for 3 years. Dont waste your time in a bad relationship. We do not have any children nor is there anyone else living with us that I would be able to ask as well therefore; how is it that I am ACCUSING him?? my boyfriend and i have been together for 6 years and we just had a baby girl dec 2012. i recenlty found conversations of him talking to other girls on facebook, one being my so called best friend. But Im really pissed cause he hurt my only child, my grown son! Im a 25 year old male and have been in a strange relationship for 4 years and 5 months. If you meet a man who is too charming and too good to be true, thats a BIG red flag!!! Her husband was a drug user and cheater. I also pray for your fiance, that he is willing to dig into his feelings of boredom and needing a spark, and that he can find that spark in his relationship with you. He also stayed at work more. He has told me she asked numerous times to eat dinner but he said he needed to be home with me and family. You dont need to find evidence to make it 100% certifiable. My prayer for you is that you find peace. Or I thought I could change him, or he would change. In the first year or so he had lied a few times about drug use which caused me to loose trust I noticed he has put a lock on his phone. And if i have been talking to any guy friends he blows up on me. He began coming over to comfort me letting me cry which I thought was out of a sincere care due to all the enormous grief I was suffering thru which I foolishly thought was outta kindness!!! ANY ADVISE!!!!!! HerNorm is a community-supported website. Trust me, you are capable of more than youll ever know. Now we are married, and I have so many regrets. I had pulled up mid-way between both of their vehicles and sat and waited maybe 5 minutes, before getting out and going into the store. He didnt battle in the sense of ups and downs, he was always fairly calm. He had recently got a new work phone and I thought it was checking it out. Thanks so much for this advice and for responding to all these comments! May you find strength and courage and may you realize that the healthiest choices are sometimes the hardest ones. But there is no way I could ever say whether or not hes having an affair because I dont know anything about him, you, or your marriage. I dont want to talk about my feelings if i feel the need to tell her how it makes me feel because previos times it started a huge fight where she started beating me AGAIN. If you really want to ask someone who cares, who understands the risk and who can lose everything.ask his wife. Not all women have girlfriends to talk to. 1: Make Sure He's Actually Cheating On You. My husband denied it, said I was crazy and he would never cheat on me. If their belly button faces the door or exit, its because subconsciously they want to leave or escape. But thats NOT YOUR FAULT. He is the love of my life. If your wife is suspicious of you, its because you are behaving suspiciously. And no sooner than i forgave him and let up on the whole affair. We have 3 children and one on the way. I feel like crap, and cannot believe he would have dont that, but it seems rather apparent. With the company he works with he has to have a partner and it is a female so he is spending most of his time with her. you were right in your approach of not asking him directly, this could bring to the end of your relationship, no joke. Yep men cheat no matter what. But I am also terrified of investing more time and energy into someone who has let me down this early on in our relationship and risking getting hurt even more later. Im sorry but I dont agree with the age gap at all. I think mine has also, we have been married 28 years. (he knew how they hated me so used them as an escape). And you are right the intent is there and whether he has gone through with physical contact or not, he will eventually cheat. I feel as though the world is a dark horrible place. Because I trusted him. Hes always gone on his off days early in the am til late in the pm and on his work days he dont come home after work. If he doesnt usually talk in a high pitch or swiftly, then hes trying to hide something. I dot want to tell him that I have been on his messages and skype, I know I crossed the line. I know this sounds crazy after all these years but i keep thinking about it and really dont know if he is telling me the truth or not. If you have evidence that they cheated, they will usually blame their actions on someone else. Yes, it will be hard to leave. I know what he did but he wont ever admit to it so why dont you do us both a huge favor and message me on facebook. Youll find it helpful and enlightening to read the comments about cheating below. When i asked if anything happened with this girl he said no and that he is very happily married to me. Hi all, I am with my husband since we were teenagers (17 years now) and married 7 years we have no kids. This makes them uneasy and their spouse extremely anxious, jealous, and uncertain. Sure there was more to it, and i was right. Either way, I tell people this all the time, but its important to remember that your well-being is not dependent on this man. I found message from other women wishing him Happy Thanksgiving and I found message from women texting him her new #. Im still having sex with him,I know I should be using condoms..Im cheating. Which I expected. Problem is, I can trust him, which will take time I know. I just have to deal with it and move on. There should be no secrets in a marriage, right? So i have no support and feel as if they have turned there backs on me. By march i was sure, with no proof. Im sorry I cant offer personal advice or help. Good luck. Your philosophy makes sense. That time, I mean we just started dating and he met both of at the same time, so I guess he was choosing. I am extremly heart broken and lost. Men do cheat. I cant give personal advice because I dont know your situations, marriages, personalities, etc well enough. I recently went to the dr for an infection and I was possatice for chlamydia. Are you happy in this relationship? Everything the exwife told me about her husband and this woman is happenning to me now .Is there anyway I can get this man to leave me and move in with this woman, My husband paid lobola for me, but we have not finilised the traditional ceremony, but he is seeing his snons mother behind my back, Hi Im going through enough with my life as well Ive been talking to this guy for almost 2 years now he always told me he loved me an did almost anything for me then i found out he was married an now have a baby on the way i been involved with him for to long now i dont no what to do i no i need to call the quits but how someone help please. Ive been through depression as i was beat severely by my father while going up. She is right.follow that feeling 2 inches behind your belly button. 10. Take courage. That does include pets. Don't get drawn into doing stuff you're not comfortable with. He has sincerely told me he loves me, is still in love with me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. I confronted him. He helped me with my children from a previouse relationship. I even saw a video chat picture of them together chatting. I feel like if I ask for his password to check his Facebook he will immediately know what I want to look for and delete any evidence if there even is any. He knows my heart knows the truth. I found out two months ago he had been sexting a work colleague. But i am confused and i doubt hes lying. He told me that a few days before I left for vacation, this girl called him at work leaving a message that she was in town and that he could stop by to see her. Its come to the point they are stealing my clothes knowing I dont have much that fits me do to weight loss from stress and nerves being shot. Tonight I literally felt sick to my stomach because he wont even sit by me or look me in the eye. Here you can see any hotel stays or anything that might look like gifts bought for another woman. he sent me pictures of him, and his kids.. no reference to the fact he was married. I did not think anything of if as I thought they were in one of the establishments looking at a job they would be doing. He also called me while I was at work asking me when I would be home, I suspect she came to our house that day before I got home. I know something is up. He only deletes txt he doesnt want me to see and it makes it hard for me to move past the whole cheating in the beginning. He is treating you disrespectably. How can this be? I personally have been in several long-term relationships including one marriage of nine years. I want to break up with him because I dont want to live myself in pain situation again and again. I called my husband to tell him. (sitting beside eachther at bar, excursions, lunch, walking along beach) yet he says he doesnt know her that she was a stranger. Healthier offspring are produced and thrive more. He goes over a friends house one night at 7PM and I dont hear anything until 3PM the next day. I just dont know what to do and what to believe its killing me. May you find faith for the journey, and trust in God to guide you through. No, shes not vastly insecure or had terrible experiences in the past with other men. I tried to do that however; I found myself getting depressed, moody and becoming someone I refuse to be. I am so frustrated. He said it meant nothing, he hadnt slept with her and it was just banter. According to this page. I dont know what to do, please help me, thanks. You seem like a kind trusting person. This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply. WE TALKED FOR HOURS EACH TIME, WENT OUT TO EAT AND ENDED UP HAVING THE BEST SEX I HAVE EVER HAD IN MY LIFE. whiteflag said: My husband gave me an STD, he wont admit that he cheated and tries to get me to believe that maybe I had it for yrs (we been married 6) and Im just seeing the signs. My thoughts and prayers are with you, Laurie .-= Laurie Pawlik-Kienlens last blog post10 Tips for Impressing a First Date by Cooking Dinner at Home =-. She listened with disbelief to her husband, Chris, a respected pastor, confess to pornography addiction, numerous affairs, and the startling news that another woman was pregnant with his child. That man is doing you wrong. Also he texts me 4-5x a day and has ever since we met. THere have been many messages here tha tmake me want to pull my hair out because its so obvious! my only regret is that I didnt smarten up sooner. But I dont think he has ever had an encounter with another woman. You do need some help!! I aint crazy well not for someone lying and cheating heck I have enough problems why would I try to hold on to someone disrespectful to me especially like that? If youre confused about whether your husband is lying about cheating, then you need to believe his ACTIONS over his words. Feeling weak because he was unfaithful? Up to this day he hasnt told me where he was. He has always been a wonderful father. That is the only way to find a solution. We are now on the process of getting a divorce. I found these sites and theyll get you started. Not from him or the therapist. I ask him how many woman, who, where, and how because he is always home. When accidentally i saw his phone password i tried to open it and bouala there it hoes all the msg. I wish you happiness and please dont give in to him. He finally fessed up that they (of course) had slept together and itd been going on for over a year. ATT : Lost Are you an Australian resident? M sorry but, I dont spy on anybody so I dont think so! I hope what you said to her made an impact! Don't berate. My husband has been having an affair for over a year and a half. he use to want to have sex 4 to 5 times a week and now if we do it once a week he doesnt mind. Emptying almost all of it within 10 days time. I couldnt leave them and he changed his story the next day. It bothered me because up until this incident, I thought he only had eyes for me. Now, I am also in a change of life situation. They won't take responsibility for their actions because it makes them feel as though they are out of control and vulnerable. I was ready to leave, but he drove me and my phone was dead. They text each other often she calls when him when he at work often. Have a safe place he doesnt know about. mayb not all this is while they r out of town on job. I expressed to him that I just didnt get why he needed go be friends with her. 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